Some Letters

Dear Summer,
Why you gotta go by so fast? I was just getting good and settled into your non-routine routine when you snap me out of it with home visits, and professional development and other "the rest of the year" hum drum.  Harsh summer, harsh.

Dear One Piece Bathing Suit I Bought on Clearance,
Thank for being more flattering than I had anticipated and for showing me that while I am not quite to the body that I want, I like the one I have a whole lot more than the one I had 8 months ago.  I vow to be far to small to wear you by next summer.

Dear Zucchini Bread,
I should never have learned to make you.  You are going to undo all the good One Piece Bathing Suit did. The only solution is to continue to make you, but to give you away.  I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be.  It's not you, it's me.

Dear Malone's of Lexington,
God Bless your salad, bread, crab rangoon, and blackened chicken penne. Yum.

Dear Back to School,
While I do not welcome your early start times, I am more than ready for your routine.  As it turns out I do much better with diet and exercise while on your rigid time schedule.  One point for you-but only one.

Dear new Kiddos,
Let's learn lots, be good to one another and have a fantastic year!

Dear School Lunch Bunch,
I have missed our time together and look forward to it starting up again soon-point two for Back to School-dangit.

Dear Mazers,
The upcoming early mornings will be as hard on your as they will on me.  I will miss lounging in bed with you till much past an acceptable hour.  I hope the chain link fence I am installing for you in the backyard will soften the blow. 

Dear Blog,
I've sucked lately but frankly, I'm becoming bored with you.  Perhaps you could do something to renew my interest?

Dear Old Musicals,
You never fail to make me smile and sing along and feel better.  And think of my Dede.  Bravo.

Dear Bed,
I hear you calling my name-I'll be there momentarily.

Sincerely,
Love,
As ever,
All my best,
XOXO,
Lindsay

ABC's

I'm bored, it's late, I'm out of blog ideas so in the spirit of random radomosity that is this blog I give you, the Random Alphabet:

A-ab-I think I felt one beginning to form in my stomach area-what a thrill!
B-Big Bang Theory-what's playing in the background as I type away.
C-couch-where my Mazie dog is snoring at the moment.
D-dreams-always in color, and always present.  And people I have some doozies.
E-eggs-I enjoy mine with a little salsa and cheese.  And preferably with whites only.
F-fence-got an estimate today on one for my backyard.  Seems very grown up but the pups will so enjoy it!
G-garden-waiting anxiously for my parents to being yielding things.  The drought is not helping this.
H-hair-trying desperately to grow mine out.  Slow going folks-any tips?
I-ice cream-summer makes me crave it pretty much constantly.  We made homemade banana the other night-Fan-tas-tic!
J-July-it's barely begun but to me signals the beginning of the end of my glorious summer vacay.  Sniff sniff.
K-kaboom-as in the fireworks that although it's the 10th still go off at random-it's over people!  Give it up!
L-laughter-it is absolutely the best medicine which I believe unequivocally.
M-male-I need some male in my life.  And I mean that in the most non-dirty way possible.  I need a man to flirt with me, tell me I'm cute and possibly ogle me. 
N-nights-mine are increasingly later which should make it increasingly harder to get back to waking up for school
O-owls-love them-bought the cutest little bracelet today at a boutique in town for cheap cheap
P-pasta-I could eat it every day of my life if possible and if it didn't go straight to my hips, thighs, butt
Q-quickly-the method in which I like things to go and the opposite of how my current cross stitch product is coming
R-rain-finally got some the other day but could seriously use more-the grass is crunchy people!
S-salve-as in Rosebud-seriously loving it on my lips!  Also loving the vintage look of the tin.
T-tomatoes-assisted in canning 16 quarts today.  Makes me wish for fall and a big pot of chili to put them in.
U-USB-the drive that went missing with several new school documents on it today, giving me a heart attack until it surfaced.
V-vat-the amount of cookie dough I could consume if only...
W-Wednesday-we're almost to hump day which is far less thrilling when you don't work all summer.
X-Xtra half hour of Zumba last night that absolutely killed me...I'm hurting people.
Y-yell.  What my mother asked me today to stop doing.  She should realize after 28 years that I am loud.
Z-zzz's-what I'm about to go catch.

Peace out homies.

Where I come from...

Rain is a good thing! And after about 10 days of temps of 100 degrees or better and twice as many with no rain-it's raining! Woo hoo!

Sunshine and Summertime

God Bless America.  And summer's off for teachers.  And Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw.  And Nascar races.  And time with family here, there and everywhere.

This weekend (of course it's now Thursday and the weekend is over, in fact the next one is practically upon us but whatever) was a whirlwind. In the absolute best sense of the word.

It started on Friday with me and my cousin heading to Hamilton Oh to my aunt and uncles house.  Visiting and eating commenced.

Saturday kicked off the big events.  My two cousins and I went to the Nascar race at Kentucky Speedway.  To say it was hotttttttttttt would be an understatement.  To say it was hotter than the face of the sun may also be an understatement.  It was freaking hot people.  Our lives were saved by the portable water mister my cousin Ryan bought that hooks to a pop up tent.  There aren't words. 

Now, as a told my cousins, avid race fans, my prior knowledge of Nascar consists of "Days of Thunder" and Disney's "Cars".  And let me just tell you-Disney?  They got it about right!  It was more fun than I expected considering it was hotter than the fires of hell.  Highlight?-the walkie talkie headsets that allowed me to beep my cousins and say "He he he, Allmindinger" every time that particular drivers name was announced.  Come on that's freaking hilarious-say it and see if you don't laugh! We made it home (after getting hit in the parking lot) at about 2:00.

Up and at em at about 10:30ish the next day to prepare for the Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw concert in Cincinnati at Paul Brown stadium.  We left at about 1:00 to pick up friends and tailgate-the concert started at 4:30-a fact we found confusing until later.  It was again, hotter than you can possibly imagine.  Our seats were up high and all through the two opening acts I truly thought I might die.  Then my boyfriend Tim McGraw came out and things were magically and mystically better. 

I can't imagine why that might have been....sigh. And God Bless tight jeans, and well muscled men.

And then the heavens opened up, the winds begin to blow, Tim told us he'd be right back and the powers that be at the stadium decided to inform us and 55,000 of our closest, sweatiest friends to seek shelter as severe weather was on the way. 

About an hour and a monsoon of rain later Tim came back. Then Kenny.  Then Tim and Kenny.  And 7 hours after the concert started it ended and we all understood why it started so early.  It was fantastic.

Another in bed by 2:00 night and the next day a pool party and food and fun with family.  The perfect bookend to a whirlwind, wild, hot and incredibly fun summer weekend that has carried over through today with more pool time, 4th cookouts and lunch and movies with my girls from school.  This weekend may be used simply to recover.  :)

I've Been Bad

Really bad.  Maybe the worst blogger on the planet.

Summertime will do that to you.

That's not entirely true.  Summertime, working out a lot, horse shows, swimming, new puppies and frustration will do that to you.

Yes my name is Lindsay and I am a frustrated blogger.  I think I had grandiose imaginings of how this would go.  That people would read this and be enchanted by me and I would be rocketed into blogger superstardom.

Yeah that's not happening-I have very few readers, very few comments and I'm not really sure what to do about it.

So that is my question for the day-it's really more like a series of questions:

What do you like to read about on blogs?
How can I spice things up?
What kinds of things draw your attention to blogs?
What are some ways to get out there and reach and hopefully gain some more readers?

Any ideas will be much appreciated-as are those of you out there who are reading this.

:) and his brother ;)

So I have been watching TBS's new show Men at Work.  Pretty funny, clever writing and a glimpse into the minds of men.  Some background: On last weeks episode, Milo, having just gotten out of a 5 year relationship, is trying to re-enter the dating world and is struggling somewhat with texting a new girl he's dating.  His lady killer friend Tyler is helping him deconstruct what Milo views as an open invitation from the lady.  Their convo goes a little something like this:

Tyler: "In the hetero-textual world everything is safe if you have a smiley face at the end.  They're like...conversational condoms."


Milo: "Really?"


Tyler: "Absolutely man.  You can say the naughtiest, filthiest stuff to each other and its all in fun as long as you end it with that bad boy.  Or his brother...the winky smiley face."

Milo: "Good to know."

You can watch it here:
Men at Work-Hetero-textual Male

The conversation made me laugh out loud while I was watching-which is something I generally reserve for New Girl or Psych (haven't watched either? Step away from the computer and go do so IMMEDIATELY!)
It was just so....true!  I could literally think of dozens of times that I had softened the blow, or added some levity to a text with a :) or ;) 

Uh oh-don't want him to think I'm being too flirty--:)

Whoops hope he gets that that is sarcasm---;)

Want him to understand beyond a shadow of a doubt that yes, you ignorant male, I am flirting--;)

And they're so right-these little emoticons are conversational condoms.  They make you feel safe.  For me, comments I'd never post or texts I'd never send are instantly made "ok" by adding a :) or ;)

And you know what?  Thank God.

I mean seriously-being single is freaking exhausting.  And thought I don't often advocate for the male side of things I am sure they feel the same way.  You feel like a psychoanalyst 99% of the time.  What did he/she mean by that?  What do I do/say now?  And on and on with the questions and second guessing and uncertainly and doubt.

And while I often bemoan all the game play, the rules and regulations that often make dating so very tiresome, in this case I find it perfectly ok.  Comforting even.  Because without our little conversational condoms there are texts that would never get sent.  I realize they are just in fact punctuation marks squished together to attempt to illustrate an emotion or tone and I'm pinning a lot on them but they sometimes give you a little added boost of confidence. They power sometimes to push send-ummm don't know if I should say that.  eh-I'll add a :)  Yes the addition of a colon and parentheses makes it all ok.

It's a dog eat dog world out there kids.  And this girl?  I'll be practicing safe text.

The Lost Art of Lyrics

It occurred to me this week whilst (yeah, I say whilst. Try it, you'll like it) we were driving home and jamming to the radio that lyric writing is quickly becoming a lost art.

At the very least it's playing hide and seek. It's face is on a few milk cartons. That's all I'm saying.

This thought came to me while we heard two currently overplayed tunes that are, ahem, on the iPods of a few, ahem, friends of mine. They'll argue that Willie Nelson is on mine, but I maintain that he is, in fact, a working mans poet.

But I digress. The songs in question are One Directions "What Makes You Beautiful" and 'insert random pop princesses name here's "Call Me Maybe".

Sweet lord. Is this what we've come to?  These are our modern day troubadours? 

We've gone from this:

"Maybe I didn't love you, Quite as often as I should have.  And maybe I didn't treat you, Quite as well as I could have, If I made you feel second best, Girl I'm sorry I was blind.  You were always on my mind." -Elvis/Willie (had to include some Willie ;)

"Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down." -Simon & Garfunkel

"Yesterday, All my troubles seemed so far away, Now it looks as though they're here to stay.." -The Beatles

"In my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be." -The Beatles

"Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose, Nothing ain't worth nothin', but its free." -Kris Kristopherson

"Imagine all the people, Living for today." -Lennon

"Freedom? Well that's just some people talking.  Your prison is walking through this world all alone."
-The Eagles

"There are places I remember all my life, though some have changed.  Some forever, not for better.  Some have gone and some remain." -The Beatles

To this:
"The way that you whip your hair gets me overwhelmed"

"I just met you.  And this is crazy.  But here's my number.  So call me maybe."

This is a sad commentary on our times.  And not only are MANY of today's lyrics insipid and uninspired they are also repetitive.  Over and over and over.  Same words.  Oy.

I'm not saying I haven't fallen prey to bubble gum pop.  (I was in high school during the rise of boy bands for Pete's sake) It's catchy, the beats are good and the lyrics, however mundane will burn themselves onto your brain.  But in 10, 20, 50+ years are people really going to remember where they were when they heard these songs or how they made them feel.  Doubtful.  Very doubtful.  But the old standards I've listed above will stand the test of time and thankfully, there are artists out there that strive to meet some basic standards.  That try for some meaning, feeling and, dare I say it, poetry.

Some current lines that pass the test, for me, and leave this listener feeling or thinking or (yes, I'm a sap) crying?

"I got a gypsy soul to blame and I was born for leaving." -Zac Brown Band

"You and tequila make me crazy.  Run like poison in my blood.  One more night could kill me baby.  One is one too many, One more is never enough." -Kenny Chesney

"The stars are blazin' like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun." -The Killers

"All of this around us'll fall over, I tell you what we're gonna do, Hey you will shelter me my love and I will shelter you." -Ray LaMontagne

"Next time I'll be braver, I'll be my own savior, Standing on my own two feet." -Adele

"A man needs something he can hold onto, A nine pound hammer or a woman like you, Either one of them things will do." -Ray LaMontagne

They give me hope.  Perhaps lyric writing is not dead.  But I think sometimes, like so many other things in our lives, the rush to make the CD, to make the money, produce the records overshadows the artistry.  I'm glad there are some artists and songwriters out there that still strive for...art. 
What are some lyrics or songs that speak to you?  That get to you?

Vacation=woo hoo!, Packing=Boo hoo!

Heading out tomorrow for a mini vacation to Gatlinburg with my girls.  And am as excited as if we were going somewhere like, oh, I don't know...the beach, a cruise etc etc.  It's basically just about getting away and changing the scenery at this point.  We have some fun stuff planned and, of course, mucho shopping. 

But in order to go-I gotta pack.  And I HATE packing.  With a fiery, all consuming passion.  It's torture. 

What to take, what not to take.  Do I take too much (yes always), do I take the minimalist approach (no, never).  I generally end up taking the same amount of items for this, a two day trip, as I would for a week at the beach.  I have no restraint.

There are too many variables to consider!  And I must have some Boy Scout in my makeup because I feel the need to "always be prepared".  It could rain.  A cold snap. A heat wave.  Something dressy could come up.  I may need a bathing suit.  I could just hate my clothes (Happens.  A lot.)  So I over pack.  I've tried to break the habit but I've finally just accepted it.  I'd rather have more than necessary (which I always, ALWAYS do) than not enough (NEVER happened). 

So off I go to begin gathering my things.  I predict a minimum of one suitcase plus additional bag. 

Yes I realize it's a two day trip.  Just go with it.

Rainy Friday

Which makes it just perfect for sleeping in-which I did.  A lot.  It was magical and just one of the many, many things I love about being out of school for the summer. 

What else do I love?
-wearing my pj's all day if I so choose-and baby, sometimes I choose
-not having to pack my lunch and/or get school clothes ready each night
-no alarm clock-woo-hoo!!!
-the joyful freedom of no schedule at all

Summer is pretty freaking great.  And this (shout out to mild winter!) we get a nice long one.  I intend to enjoy it-pool time, friend and family time, mini vacay time and me time. What are your summer plans?  And favorite things about the most sweltering of seasons? (the heat and humidity would be on the not so favorite list for me!)

On the weight loss front I have been maintaining pretty much the last few weeks.  It's been hard to stick to a diet once school was out-I knew it would be.  I have good days and bad but frankly I am just happy not to have gained any back so far.  I need to buckle down though-trying a boot camp tomorrow morning with some Zumba peeps-Lord help me!  I'm hoping that that, in addition to Zumba and walking will get the weight coming off a little faster again-if I survive.

Heading out Monday for a few days in Gatlinburg with my peeps-I am as excited as if we were going to the beach-which sadly we are not-time and money constraints suck.  But we are going to relax, likely pig out (hence the need for boot camp!) and do some shopping and other fun stuff.  It will be nice just to get away and change the scenery for a few days.

And now I am going to go get dress-yes I am aware of the time-what of it? And then to go get my oil changed (vroom vroom) and stop by my home aways from home Wal-Mart for a few things.  It's a wild life I lead, I know. 

Over and out.

Time keeps on slipping, slipping...into the future.

For some reason I thought when I was out of school for the summer I would have all this extra time to blog.

HA! 

I was kidding myself.  Since my last day of school on Tuesday my summer has looked something like this:

-wake up
-eat
-head to barn (where we are hosting a horse show this weekend)
-while there ride horses, mow, trim bushes, paint signs, hook up bush hogs, haul rock, unload said rock into ditches and holes, bathe horses, feed and water horses
-go home
-eat
-sleep
-repeat with addition of mowing at home and a marathon trip to Sam's Club with Mom to prepare for aforementioned horse show's concession stand

Needless to say so far summer has been anything but relaxing.  I have a sore back and shoulder, various bruises on my legs and bright red lines snaking across my allergy riddled eyes. 

On the bright side I sweated off a pound this week from all the manual labor + 2 Zumba classes.  Then I probably gained it back tonight at PF Chang's with Mom-chicken lettuce wraps, you are my Achilles!

Pretty sure I am going to bed now so I can get up and:
-ride horses
-prep them for show
-load them up
-sweat off another pound or two (fate and the gods be willing...) in the 90+ degree heat in my three piece polyester show suit-yes, it is absolutely as sexy as it sounds.  Be jealous-be very jealous.

Here's hoping next week brings pool lounging, novel reading and sun bathing!

Over and out.

Facebook Hiatus

Sometimes I think a Facebook hiatus would be the best thing in the world for me.  Lately it seems that every time I log on I read something that annoys me, infuriates me, disgusts me or is just generally too much information about someone.  And if I weren't deeply addicted to FB and all it's flaws I would take a break.  But I can't.  My name is Lindsay and I am addicted to FB. 

It's has its uses for good too.  It is nice to keep up with family, friends that I wouldn't normally get to see or hear from.  And boy, oh boy is it eye opening in regards to peoples true colors.  There are people that I once might have considered friends that have proven beyond a shadow of FB doubt that they are not.  Good to know.  People I had thought were kind or intelligent that, again, have proven that is not the case.  Most often though FB proves (glaringly) that some people, have NO CLASS.  Or dignity.  Or sense of privacy.  Or decency.  Or grammar.

But it's like so many things in life that are bad or awkward or gross or whatever.  You just can't stop looking at it.  As badly as you need to or want to or know you should you can't turn away from the train wreck that is FB.  I am guilty.  I've accepted it. 

Dead Air

I don't delude myself into thinking that there are thousands out there wondering why I haven't posted in a several days-in fact according to my Blogger stats it looks like I've got about 3 readers and I'm pretty sure they're friends/family. 

Anyway....the reason for my absence would be that the final week of school is crashing down upon us complete with field days, parties, awards programs et al.  It's exhausting.  Last night I was up late making a cookie cake for our party and putting together end of the year gifts for my kids.  But today and tomorrow then ...FREEDOM.  I'm not sure who is more excited-me or them.  My money's on me.

So after this week and the three teacher work days that follow my life will be filled with more than ample time for blogging.  Prepare to be entertained or bored to tears.  All three of you.

Instagram

So I'm blogging....I Facebook...I am a Pinterest addict.  I recently signed up for Twitter even though I still don't really get all the hash tagging and what not.  So I figured I might as well go for broke and do the Instagram thing too.  I want to try to take more pics this year just in general-the perfect way to capture memories in action.  So here is my first attempt at being artsy fartsy...try not to laugh to hard.  I present...bubbles...a study ;)



Follow me on Instagram if you are on there-lwoliver.  I promise it will get more interesting!

Must. Shop.

No the title of this blog is not a desperate cry for help from a shop-aholic.  Quite the opposite really.  Don't get me wrong-I enjoy shopping-I'm a girl aren't I?  But as shopping un-necessarily tends to put a strain on one's finances I restrain myself and generally shop very responsibly.

But that's going to have to give and the shopping spree that will result will, in fact, be out of necessity.  The necessity of not looking like a homeless person in 98% of the pants I own.

That's right folks-I am 27 pounds down and the clothes that went from fitting snugly to fitting comfortably have now gone to not fitting at all.  At least not in an attractive way-I, for one, do not consider a saggy butt to be attractive- but that's just me.  As I am rather...um, buxom?...most of my tops still fit because unlike the majority of the people women who have lost weight have shared with me, I seem to not have lost any weight in the chest area.  If that is good or bad I have yet to decide.  Jury's out.

So shop I must.  How sad (insert sarcastic tone here).

But here's the catch.  I don't want to spend tons of money and buy lots of clothes that, hopefully definitely will be too big soon as well.  And so I face a conundrum.

Alas, responsibility (dang it) wins again.  As FABULOUS as it would be to have an all-out shopping spree in my new smaller size I vow to restrain myself and only buy a few necessary pieces to get me through and keep me looking respectable.

But boy, oh boy, look out stores and credit cards when I reach my goal weight...

Kindergarten Quotable Quote

"Ms. Oliver, can we do the "Farmer and Adele" song and dance again?"

That would be "Farmer in the Dell" for those who don't speak kindergartener.

A Chance Encounter

I was at Orange Leaf this past Saturday with my friends (for those of your that don't know Orange Leaf is the most fabulous self serve soft serve frozen yogurt IN THE WORLD! It is a dessert wonderland!).  I had filled my cup and was standing in line to add some toppings (yes, you heard me, a do it yourself topping bar with EVERYTHING imaginable!).  The guy behind me in line was standing a little too close for comfort but as the world is filled with those with no personal space boundaries these days I didn't think much of it.  And then he leaned in close and quite literally breathed the following words on to my neck:

"So...what toppings should I get?   I just got strawberry and vanilla ice cream?? What would be good?"

At first I thought, well this is an interesting approach, if somewhat inappropriate.  I turned slowly and was about to answer when upon seeing my face he...

...leaped back, turned five shades of red and exclaimed "Oh my God!!!! I am so sorry-I thought you were my wife!  Oh my God-I really need to open my eyes!"

He promptly retreated, all apologies.  I told him it was fine, laughed it off and proceeded to turn five shades of red myself.  I, of course, walked right over to my friends and told them the story.  I could see him doing the same and I when I heard his wife say "Which one?" I just waved and smiled.  I can only hope she wasn't offended. :) And I can only be thankful he didn't do worse than breath on my neck :)

Life is Short

We know this.  We've heard it, seen it, in some cases even experienced it firsthand.  And yet sometimes we still take it for granted.  Until it hits painfully close to home.

I lost a friend this week.  One of those, grew up with you, could go months, years without seeing you but still fall into the same happy rhythm when you do see them kind of friends.  There are very few of my childhood memories that he was not a part of.  He worked for my father for several years and took a typical big brother role of me and my brother-teasing, protective.  And I think he always saw me as a little kid-once when I was about oh, 25, he started to tell me I was too young to have a drink before he caught himself and realized that I was an adult now too.  :) And he was a complete and utter character.  There are about 1,000 stories I could tell and they are all hilarious. 

He was 34 and was genuinely one of the happiest people I've ever known.  And he died from choking on his lunch.  Doesn't that seem ludicrous?  So senseless and so sad.  He left behind a little girl, his parents and, from the looks of the line at the funeral home Sunday night, countless friends.  I consider myself lucky to be one of them.  And everyone I talked to at the funeral home or spoke to elsewhere that knew him said the same thing I did-he was always so happy.  Always laughing, smiling, cutting up.  I honestly don't think I ever saw him or spoke to him when he didn't make me smile, or, more likely, laugh hysterically.

And isn't that a beautiful legacy to leave?  The more I've thought about it, and that's been a lot over the last few days, the more I hope I am blessed enough that people would say the same of me.  That I was always happy, always smiling.  That when they think of me they think of how happy I made them, how I gave them the gift of laughter, of a smile, of support and love, of joy in the small things, of fun and friendship.  That the stories they tell are all about crazy adventures, funny incidents and none of sad times or wrongs done. 

Sitting here now I wish I could write this better.  That I could better express the feelings that have been swirling around inside me since I heard the news.  I wish I could understand the whys and answer all the what ifs.  But I can't.  No one can.  I can simply say Curt, you will be missed.  By me.  By so many others.  And that the legacy of love of life and of laughter that you left is an example to all of us to live life everyday to the absolute fullest.  Like you did.

Something to Think About

This morning there are things on my heart and mind and I found this chapter of the Bible comforting and motivating in my effort to be a better Christian and a better person.  I thought I would share it in hopes that there are others out there who could benefit from reading it and thinking about the content.  Happy Monday!

Romans 12

A Living Sacrifice

12  I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Gifts of Grace

For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned. For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.  Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching;  the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Marks of the True Christian

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.  Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.  Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.  Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.  If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Quotable Quotes

"A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor."
-unknown

A Building Year-Time to Grab a Hammer

I have a problem.

I sometimes spend too much of my time focusing on what my life will be like "one day".  When this happens, or that happens, I meet "the" guy, have kids, buy my dream house.  And the problem with this is that sometimes I get so wrapped up in the vision and path to my future life that I tend to miss the pretty amazing life that I am experiencing right now.  I think John Lennon said it best "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."

It's easy to do.  I don't think there is a person out there who doesn't feel in some way like their life will really start when they reach the next big milestone they have set for themselves.  It could be a personal goal, a career goal-whatever.  But all this dreaming, this wishing, this waiting for life to get started has the concerning side effect of encouraging you not to live life, your present life, to its absolute fullest. And that's not ok.

I said as much to my friend the other day. That sometimes, when I'm complaining or worrying about things I don't have I feel ridiculously guilty because instead, I should be giving thanks and appreciation to all that I DO have...and that's a lot.  Way more than a lot of people. 

One of my friends said last night that she feels like 2012 is a building year for us.  It was a very, very odd sports analogy coming from her-if you knew her you would understand-but it probably comes from the fact that she spends her days surrounded by high school boys and lunches with an array of high school athletic coaches.  But I digress.

I have decided that she might be on to something.  Thus far this year I have dedicated myself to becoming more healthy.  I have lost 25 lbs to date and am exercising more than I have since I sweated through suicide sprints in high school.  I have been trying (sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much) to focus on becoming a better person.  To pray more, curse less, work on my patience (definitely NOT my best virtue).  I've recently added the attempt to let go of my worries and to let God handle it.  So today I am going to add to my list of attempted self improvements and try more whole-heartedly to live life-this life I'm living right now-to the fullest.  To be thankful for all my blessings. Hey if I'm working on myself I might as well go all the way.

It's a building year-this 2012-I'm starting from the ground up and hammering away at myself a little bit more every day.  I can't wait to see the finished product. 

Small Victories

While getting ready for work this morning I had to take off the XL tshirt I had planned to wear and trade it for an older L shirt I had.  The XL made me look like I was wearing a trash bag. The L fit more than comforatbly.

VICTORY for all the Zumba-ers and salad eaters out there! 

It's the small things that keep you going.

Let It Be

As it often does my Thursday afternoon workout with my friend has inspired some musings from me.  I know you're excited.  My musings are the stuff of legends. ;)

My friend and I were discussing our constant state of single-ness and how, no matter what we try to do or how we try to get things moving, nothing changes.  We have discussed this at length on more than one occasion and have decided that we just need to let go of our worries and concerns and let God handle it.  He's going to regardless and we've gotten SEVERAL signs that we might as well just accept that.  In this year alone between us we've had no less than 5 "possibilities" go completely awry.  One guy, who was about to be set up with one of us actually took a job out of state.  You can't make this stuff up people.  Sign after sign that no matter what we do "it" isn't going to happen until it happens.  Until God decides we're ready and it's time for "it" to happen.  Let go. 

But that is far easier than it sounds.  I would love to be able to turn off the part of my mind that worries about finding someone and having a family.  I'd love the be able to turn off the part of my brain that worries or obsesses about anything and everything from work, to family, to money, to my health but frankly, I have yet to be able to do that.  I've prayed about it, I've talked about it but I just have not been able to make it happen.  It is FAR easier said than done. 

So we discussed it again, for the umpteenth time.  And then, on the way home, my iPod set to shuffle landed on The Beatles "Let it Be".  In case you live under a rock and are not familiar with the lyrics they go a little something like this:

"When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it be.  And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me, speaking words of wisdom, Let it be."

Are you kidding me?  Could this have been any more clear?  Obviously God, in his infinite wisdom (and in my opinion, his healthy sense of humor and irony) decided to remind me, once again, that's I need to let it go.  To "Let it be.."

So I'm going to try.  To really try.  To let go of the little obsessions and compulsions and worries that are a waste of time and that change nothing.  To give up the control I cling to desperately over things that are, 99 times out of 100, completely out of my control. I'm going to pray about it and I'm going to let go...and let God. 

Trending Now

For the foreseeable future I am totally in love with....

1. Green Smoothies-yes, I may have gagged when I first read the recipe for green smoothies on pinterest-it included baby spinach!!!!  But I sucked it up and tried it and am now rather addicted.  I make mine with a banana, a handful of spinach, frozen pineapple or mango and a little water.  Be prepared-they turn a violent green but I PROMISE you cannot taste the spinach.  They are quite tasty and besides that they make you (me at least) feel like you are doing something uber-healthy to start your day.

2. Spring in KY-If there is anything prettier...well I don't know what it is.  I love this time of year in my good ol' Bluegrass state...birds singing, baby calves and foals romping in the fields, trees, flowers and grass growing.  It's an intro to a freaking Disney movie and I love it!  I do not, however, enjoy the rapid rate at which my grass has begun to grown that has led to me having to mow it with increasing frequency.  If only there were a mowing fairy....

3. PitBull and Colbie Caillat-Yeah, cause I'm gangsta that way.  Oh wait...what?...Colbie Caillat's not gangsta...dang it.  So close.  Anyway I am totally jamming to these two right now.  Pitbull because my Zumba instructor uses him a lot for her routines and now just the sound of him and I'm rocking out.  Colbie Caillat because I find her breezy style very spring-like.  I enjoy the vibe-summer approaching-which it is (woot woot!)  Her new duet with Common? I dig it.

4. Countdown-Any elementary teacher (any teacher for that matter) will quickly tell you by this point of the school year how many days are left in the year.  Some (ahem...me) can even break it down into Monday's left-4 if you're curious.  At this point in the game when the kids are infected with spring fever and their little brains are slowly getting out of school mode a countdown is really all we have to help us cling to our sanity.  22 days people!!!!!  We can make it...right?

5. Smash, New Girl, DWTS, Once Upon a Time-These are the tv shows I am feverishly dvr'ing of late.  Smash-Glee with grown ups-need I say more?  New Girl is hi-lar-i-ous-love all the characters, the plots, the rapid fire banter.  DWTS-a perennial favorite but the incredible hotness of William Levy had restored my faith in the show. God Bless you DWTS.  And Once Upon a Time is simply all the fairy tales in the world thrown together....fantastic.  I am so interested to see how all the conflict is going to resolve and what new characters are going to come out.  And that August guy?  What's his deal?

That's what trending with me...what are you all loving these days?

A Call to Arms....Muscular Arms Preferably

I've been floundering a bit lately when it comes to thinking up interesting blog topics.  I've tossed around this and that but everything has seemed kind of stale (heck, what is coming might seem stale to you too) and I've just had...nothing.  Things have been coasting along in my life comfortably-which is marvelous but does not make for thrilling blog reading.  Then yesterday while working out with one of the besties our conversation led me to the perfect topic.  Or at least something I think needs to be said.  Loudly.  I believe my exact comment went something like this....

"WHY CAN'T MEN JUST BE...MEN!"

I said it loudly.  In fact I'm pretty sure people walking near us turned to stare.

But seriously? Why can't they!  You may wonder what I mean by this and perhaps it would be best explained if you knew that the conversation leading up to this comment had a lot to do with men being one or more (usually more) of the following:
1. wimps (harsh but true)
2. non-committal / indecisive
3. aimless and drifting through life trying to "find themselves"
4. on the couch playing the latest xBox game (is xBox still cool?  I have no idea)
-and mostly-
5. lazy and unwilling to pursue a woman-properly

I realize #5 might seem a bit archaic and call me old fashioned if you want-I'm sure I've been called worse-but I want to be freaking pursued dang it!  And as I told my friend yesterday, no, I don't mean laying on a chaise eating grapes, fanning myself and listening to suitors sing or compose poems in my honor.  I'm not Cleopatra -my aspirations are far more simple.  I would be perfectly content with a MAN who calls when he says he will (and yes, I mean actually CALLS, not texts, not emails, not Facebooks), who actually wants to be with me, who is take charge and respectful and confident and...manly.   Which I know is a vague descriptor but for the life of me I don't know how else to describe it.  A man who takes care of his family, who has some goals, some vision of how he wants his life to go.  Who is kind and loving yet willing to defend you and protect you. And, in my experience at least, that kind of man is something that is really lacking in our society today.  At least in guys in my age range.  And I blame that on "Guyland"-a magical place where men of my generation seem to have set up residence permanently.  It seems to be a place where the mindset, expectations, goals and activities are the same as they are for your average 13-17 year old male.

Michael Kimmel wrote the book on "Guyland"-literally.  And his basic premise is that while men want to be men, the responsibilities and baggage that comes with that baffles them (and, in my opinion, intimidates and scares the crap out of them).  Therefore, some seem to set up house in Guyland-where they can be eternally 13 and where all the less appealing facets of being a man are perfectly acceptable-complete with video games, locker room jokes, male camaraderie via sports teams, exaggerated tales of their sexual prowess and none of that scary commitment or responsibility stuff.

Think about it.  Who doesn't know a man between the ages of 20-35 who is a proud property owner in Guyland?  I know SEVERAL. They seem to be perpetual teenagers and that annoys me to no end.  I have said, more than once, that I'm not looking for a child to raise, another person to take care of.  I want a man who will share in the responsibilities of life with me, who-could it be possible?-might actually take care of me in some respects.  And that seems hard to find.  People have always said "a good man is hard to find".  The trouble is that now the emphasis on that statement is not so much in the good, as in the "man". 

Another bestie and I have determined that part of the reason for our rather low opinions of these Guyland residents is due to the fact we were raised by slightly older fathers-what she likes to call the "John Wayne" era.  They played cowboys and Indians, rode horses, shot marbles and dreamed of being a cowboy or a soldier.  Not a ninja or video game designer. It was a time when men were men and women were women.  Corny, but frankly, true. Things were simple then, lines more cut and dried. So this is the model of a man we have grown up with, the standard we hold other men accountable to.  And all those guys hanging out in Guyland?  They fall ridiculously short. 

No, not all the men I know live in Guyland.  But numbers are small in those that have moved to Man-land.  They're there-but they're few. 

So my challenge, my "call to arms" to all you 20 and 30-something guys?  Man up!!!!  It's what we girls are looking for.  Get some purpose, some direction in life.  Treat a woman with respect.  Make her feel valued and protected and...like a woman!  The best way to accomplish that?  Act like a man.

"All a girl wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same."

-Marilyn Monroe\

Kindergarten Quotable Quote

"Feel my heart Ms. Oliver.  You feel that?  It's really "beeping"."

Break is over...let the countdown begin!

Spring break is over.  It was a whirlwind of shopping, relaxing, eating out with friends, relaxing, riding horses, relaxing, getting a new barn puppy and did I mention relaxing?  All in all quite satisfactory but leaving me with just a taste of the gloriousness of summer break which is a mere 5 weeks away!!!  This realization brings about feelings of both giddiness and slight panic.  Giddiness because it's almost freaking summer break-woop woop!  Panic because I feel like there is so much I still need to cram into my kiddos heads at school-but I always feel that way and they're always fine...I hope.  Nonetheless today we delve into the world of subtraction and plants.  May the force be with us.

Here's hoping you all have a fantastic Monday!  And if it was off to a somewhat dreary start I leave you with this pic-it's our new barn dog Ruby "Don't Take Your Love to Town" Ethel Oliver, age 6 weeks.  If you can look at it and not smile you are made of sterner stuff than me!

Quotable Quotes

"Tough times never last.  Tough people do."

"What doesn't kill you makes your stronger."

"This Too, Shall Pass."

I'm a Loser Baby!

A weight loser that is.  I started, really and truly started trying, to lose weight in November.  I signed up for Weight Watchers online and began working out more frequently.  And it worked...I was losing 2-3 pounds a week.  And as anyone who has struggled with weight loss can tell you there is no greater feeling than stepping on the scale and seeing that number decrease. 

And then the holidays hit.  And my father had a heart attack.  And spent a week in ICU.  And my family and I spent a week driving back and forth, spending the night in hospital chairs and eating whatever fast food was available to survive.  Needless to say, this derailed me. 

But after New Years I cracked back down.  I increased my workouts substantially because as anyone who's struggled with weight loss will tell you, your body gets comfortbale at certain stages and REFUSES to shed another ounce at times.  I signed up for Zumba classes two days a week and began going to the gym with friends two other days.  And it slowly started coming off again.  And I am proud to say I am down 20 pounds from when I started!

But each ounce, each pound is a vicious battle between me, food, my body and exercise.  It isn't easy.  There are days I just want a cupcake-or five.  Days that the sight of someone else consuming Dorito's make me drool and sigh longingly.  And there have also been days when I've broken down and had a cupcake.  And those days have kept me from going completely off the grid. 

My plan has been this.  I am on target and very strict with myself during the week.  The weekends?  I give myself a break.  It may take me longer to get all the weight I would like to off but I think my weekends have also kept me from going on an all out binge.  I'm not saying I go nuts and eat everything is sight but I usually eat out and generally get what I want, within reason.  But on Monday it's right back on track.

Another change?  No pop.  Or soda or cola or whatever you want to call it.  Only water or tea for me for two months.  Yes I may have had impure thoughts about a diet Coke last weekend at a restaurant.  But I have held firm.  Not only better for me but a lot cheaper too when eating out!

So for all those people thinking about losing weight or trying to lose weight out there-stick with it!  It can be done!  It's not easy and, if you love food like me, it's sure not fun. But here are a few tips/tricks etc to get you going or help you out:

1. skinnytaste.com-Best. Website. Ever.  This lady takes all sorts of normal, delicious recipes and "skinnys" them up.  She also gives you the nutritional info and Weight Watchers pts.  Everything I have tried from her has been great!  And usually quick and easy too.

2. You iPhone is your friend.  If you are WW-ing the iPhone app is great for tracking and looking things up on the go.  Even better for shopping?  The new bar code scanner which scans items on the spot and gives you points per serving.  If you are a non-WW there are lots of great calorie counting/fitness apps.  I have heard great things about My Fitness Pal, Lose It! and many others.  Some are even free.  I firmly believe that in order to lose weight you to count something-points, carbs, fat, calories-whatever you choose it makes you SO much more aware of what you are consuming.

3.  Find exercise you enjoy.  For me it's Zumba-I love it (and I say that about little to no forms of exercise).  I also enjoy walking outside, which is easier now that the weather is nicer.  It's much easy to keep up with a workout schedule if you like what you're doing.  And if you're like me and don't really like exercise at all (I think those people that say they love it are just flat out lying) find some workout buddies.  I am much more likely to go to the gym or walk if I have someone to do it with.

4.  Helpful hints food/drink wise: Drink LOTS of water.  You've heard it before but it cannot be said enough.  Green tea is also good and is a metabolism booster.  Protein shakes every now and then are a good bet.  And you are also supposed to eat something (something HEALTHY) within about 30 minutes of getting up.  It kick starts your metabolism for the day and as my metabolism is my constant enemy I need all the help I can get in that area.  Tons of fruits, tons of veggies, lean meats.  Avoid the carbs (which is SO hard for me as I love them!)

These are just some things that have worked for me or helped me.  I am by NO MEANS an expert or a dietitian or medical profession.  I will say this.  In my opinion there are no shortcuts.  No pills, or supplements or surgery (in some cases) will help if you are not committed to trying to lose weight and make some changes.  Because as soon as you are done with your magic cure the weight is coming right back.  Not to sound too Jillian Michaels-but you have to do the work.  And I will also say this.  It feels really, really great when all the hard work pays off and you lose even a few ounces.  Really great.

With that in mind I'm off to enjoy YET ANOTHER salad.  Yum.

Good luck to all the other losers out there!  If you've got any good tips, please, please share them here.  Every little bit helps and I'm always learning/trying new things.

Filter Free

Have you ever wished that you could just say whatever you wanted?  That there was no filter that caused you to hold back your true thoughts and emotions to placate someone else, to keep the peace, and to keep everyone happy?  Boy, I do.  Nearly everyday of my life at some point.

And maybe this is because I tend to let things go by unsaid.  When someone hurts me or offends me or infuriates me my normal response is to cry to myself, complain to my friends and eventually let myself get over it.  And this is for a couple different reasons-
#1-I am not a fan of confrontation.  I prefer life to go on as drama-free as possible and that everyone gets along and is happy.  Naive, but how I like it.
#2-If forced to be in a confrontational situation I generally get so upset that I burst into tears.  Which only makes me madder.  And more upset.  Which makes me cry even harder.   About an hour later I think of some scathing replies. Which makes me mad all over again. It's a vicious cycle.

So pretty much everyday at some point I wish upon wish that I had the magical ability to say what I am really thinking and that, even more magically, there will be no repercussions.  That I could tell the person being rude to bite me.  That I could tell the person that always knows best, that is always superior, that is NEVER wrong to get a grip on reality and dismount their high horse.  That the person whose story is always worse, whose life is always harder could be told to shut up and for once let me have the worst day, the saddest story, the biggest problem.  That I could tell the person who hurt my feelings that they had done so and explain exactly why and how.  And on and on and on. 

Yes I know this verbal and emotional free for all would come with a price-likely losing all my friends, alienating everyone and being pretty much hated.  But wouldn't it also come with a wonderful kind of freedom?  That people might know what you REALLY think?  That they might take your thoughts and your feelings into consideration a little but more.  Maybe walk in your proverbial shoes.  Maybe even get a freaking blister from said shoes. 

It's a reoccurring thought I have from time to time-how satisfying it would be to just let it all go and say what you wanted.  Do I do it?  Very rarely...generally I just say it in my mind and bite my tongue.  Sometimes to the point of pain.  Which is stupid I guess but that's just the way I am.  And I figure, even if I try to remove my filter, that this is pretty much how I'm always going to be.

But gosh, it's nice to dream...

Monday-BOO!

I wish I had some interesting and captivating thing to write about today.  Not so much.  It's Monday, I'm in a blah mood and at the moment waiting until I can get home and take a nap. 

Not exactly spine tingling stuff.  So maybe a quick run-down of what going on in my little world will suffice. 

#1-I am so excited for the Hunger Games movie it's a little embarrassing.  Everytime a trailer comes on I watch it (even though it may be for the millionth time) like I've never seen it before.  I re-read the books last week, staying up far later than was advisable and am just giddy with anticipation. If it is not as good as I hope it will be I may require psychiatric care.

#2-Spring has sprung-a little early for KY and it probably won't last but the mild winter, added to the unseasonably warm temps led to me having to freaking mow my yard this weekend.  Which led to the first snake sighting of the year-joy, joy.  My only consolation is that I beat my neighbor's on either side with the first to mow honors-a task which is nearly impossible and quite satisfying. 

#3-Rocking on repeat on the iPod of late?  Kelly Clarkson's "Makes You Stronger".  I am not ashamed to admit I have car danced while belting it at the top of my lungs.

#4-Our school board, in their infinite wisdom, allowed us to have our entire spring break-the first 3 days were originally taken for possible snow make-up days.  I am beyond excited by this and so ready for a break.  Now I'm just wishing I had someone to go or something exciting to do-I'll have to work on that.

And that's about all I have.   Perhaps inspiration will hit me soon and I will be back but for the moment enjoy your Monday-if such a thing is possible.

Quotable Quotes

Serious:
"Faith in God includes faith in His timing."
-Neal A. Maxwell

Seriously Funny:
"Everyone I know is getting married or pregnant.  I'm just getting more awesome."
-Barney from How I Met Your Mother

"Would I rather be feared or loved? Um...easy, both.  I want people to be afraid of how much they love me."
-Michael Scott from The Office

Quotable Quotes

"I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."

-William Ernest Henley

Golden Moments

A lot of bad things seem to be happening lately.  Not just in the world, although of course the bad things happening there are too various to mention, but more particularly in my little corner of it.  In the last few weeks people I have known my whole life have passed away, family members have had surgery with more to come, tornadoes and storms have done damage in my hometown and destroyed others and dear friends are dealing with sick family as well.  And it's a little disheartening.  I told my mother the other night that for just awhile I would like everything to just be ok.  Not to expect each time I talk to someone to hear that someone else is sick or dying or in the hospital or whatever.  It would be a pleasant change of pace because thus far 2012 has kind of been a kick in the pants.  And I had high hopes for this year. 

But, as life often does, this weekend it reminded me that everything is not always gloom and doom.  Oh there's plenty of that, but there are also plenty of "golden moments" to remind us of the good, the fun and the joy.  And this weekend was full of them.  There was bad news and scary moments but the golden ones kept the balance. 

What's a golden moment?  It's those perfectly perfect moments that you wish could go on infinitely.  That make you think how perfect and blessed and good life can be.  For me they started Saturday morning at my late grandfathers auction.  What could have been a sad event actually turned out to be fun. It was a gorgeous day, I was with family and, as it turns out, kind of lose my mind a little at an auction.  Let's just say by the end of the event the auctioneer had my buyers numbers memorized.  I went home with an impressive haul and a bit of an adrenaline rush.  Cut to the afternoon spent with family watching the UK basketball game.  Everyone happy, for the moment ok and perfectly happy in each others company.  Golden Moment.

That evening I went out on the town with my group of friends from school.  We had fun, danced, laughed, sang along with the band and enjoyed ourselves beyond measure.  Memories were made, potential blackmail was witnessed and Golden Moments were experienced.

Cap off the weekend with what is, to me, one of life's great pleasures.  Rolling along on the road, windows down, radio blasting, singing along like it's my American Idol audition and the judges are very impressed.  Nothing is quite as beautiful as early spring in Kentucky and in that moment I found another Golden Moment.  Complete peace, contentment and joy in something so simple.

Because really, aren't the moments I've described what life is really all about?  The simple things, the friends, the family, the laughter, the joy in something silly.  They more than balance out the bad-they make is bearable and give you strength to face it.  They give you hope that things can in fact, be ok.  That life can go on and be absolutely beautiful.  Golden even. :) 

No Sex in the Country

I considered, briefly and not too seriously, this post's title as the title to my entire blog.  Then my best friend suggested that this might not attract the most desirable set of readers.  Dang it.  It made me feel tres Carrie Bradshaw.  Which led me to write this post.

I feel like blogging about what I'm blogging about is somewhat along the line of Carrie's column in Sex and the City.  Real life.  For single girls-or any girls really-or anyone really.  And like Carrie, my best friends play a HUGE pivotal role in that life.  So I decided since it is inevitable that they will wind up in this blog, I should go ahead and introduce you.  I have decided to refer to them by the names of the SATC girls to maintain their anonymity.  And I get to be Carrie.  Because it's my blog.  (FYI-I totally would have married Aiden and never seen Mr. Big again. But that's for another day...)

So let's meet the cast shall we?

Samantha-my Samantha is not as...promiscuous (wasn't that tactful?)...as the actual one.  But there are elements of similarity in other traits.  She is the eldest in our group. She is very independent, opinionated and unafraid to let people know it.  She is the take charge type and is good at making plans and making said plans happen.  She is also kind, funny, fiercely loyal, sensitive and pretty much always there in a pinch.   She's always up for anything and has been in my life...my whole life.  She'll be very happy I labeled her as a friend since I often tell her we are family, not friends.

Miranda-my Miranda is not as driven and harsh as the real one.  But she is driven.  And will work harder than hard and succeed at whatever she sets her mind too. And, like the real Miranda, is a little insecure about herself.  My Carrie is constantly frustrated by her less than accurate picture of herself.  She is my go to girl-and, in true Miranda fashion, will tell me like it is.  Even if I don't like it (I usually don't).  She funny, intelligent and always has my back. 

Charlotte-my Charlotte is not quite as prissy as the real one.  But she is seriously only about a step behind it.  Like Charlotte keeps the SATC girls grounded and traditional, so does my Charlotte.  She's the baby-but is often the mother hen.  She is the first to jump to your defence and the first to take your side. She longs for traditional things-marriage and babies.  And is the most likely to pull all of that off with the grace and poise of June Cleaver.  My Charlotte is far more practical and level headed than the original.  She's good in crisis, physical or emotional and is oozes sympathy in times of distress. 

And so that just leaves me...Carrie/Lindsay.  Pretty hard to write an analysis of yourself.  Am I like Carrie?  Probably somewhat.  When I was trying to match our personalities up to the SATC characters it was pretty easy.  We are, of course, quite different from them.  But the essential character traits and roles within the group are very similar.  So yeah, I guess I'm the Carrie.  Always ready to have some fun, even more ready to let a joke or sarcastic comment fly.  I love my friends and try to be there for them.  I, obviously, write.  I do not, however, purchase shoes that cost roughly the same amount as a mortgage payment.  And that's where Carrie and I differ.  I'm more practical and of course am not a fictional tv character.   :)

So there we have it-the cast.  Prepare to be entertained.

Quotable Quotes-Reality

"Yeah some days it's a bitch, it's a bummer. 
We need a rock and roll show in the summer,
To let the music take us away. 
Take our minds to a better place. 
Where we feel that sense of freedom,
Leave our worries behind we don't need em',
All we need is a sunny day and old tailgate
And we'll escape,
Reality. 
Yeah sometimes life ain't all that it's cracked up to be. 
So let's take a chance and live this fantasy.
Everybody needs to break free-from reality."

-Kenny Chesney
(rocking this on the old iPod lately :)

No. I'm not married. Thanks for the reminder.

When discussing possible blog ideas this weekend with my friends one of them brought up a really good topic.  Her question was why, oh why, do people you run into that you haven't seen for awhile feel the need, within the first few moments of conversation, to ask if you're married.  Not if you have a career, or a home, or are happy or healthy, but if you're married.

We decided that this questions is asked for 1 of about 3 reasons:
#1-The people are generally curious or, more likely, just searching for conversation.  To those who fall into this category-you are pardoned.
#2-They are the type of person that considers this-husband and family-the ultimate goal in life.  This type is partially pardoned as their curiosity stems from a mindset, rather than malice.  I would suggest kindly they move their mindset into this century.
#2-They are asking because they already know the answer and hope to make you feel like crap because as they stand there smugly with their baby on their hip waiting for their husband to bring the car around they want to draw even more attention to the fact that they have won.  Mazel tov.  No pardon for you.

Now as any single girl out there knows, we don't really need a reminder that we are  single.  We know.  Chances are we would prefer not to be so people pointing it out, for whatever reason, doesn't really help matters. 

Which brought up the next point in our conversation.  Why, oh why, when someone asks this question and our answer is no do we immediately feel like failures?? 

Because that feeling of failure is absurd.  I have never been the type of person who feels like a woman needs a man to complete herself.  I am proud of the fact that I am independent, that I'd rather wait for the right man than to settle just so I can say I have one.  But when someone asks that question and I say no, I feel like I have failed.  Like I'm not doing what I should be or accomplishing anything.  It gave me some comfort to know my friends felt the same.  Because looking at us and thinking about our lives made that feeling of failure even more ridiculous. There we sat, a nurse and three teachers.  4 Bachelor's degrees, 3 Masters, a rank one and a partially completed nurse practitioner degree between us.  Home owners, car owners, bill payers, healthy, loved by family and friends.  And feeling like failures.

I think that feeling of failure makes me madder than the people asking that question.  Mad at myself for feeling that way.  Mad at society for making me feel that way.  Mad at the person who asked that question, 1 in 3 times, totally innocently that made me feel like a 28 year old failure.  All it makes me want to do is scream "I'm freaking trying here people!!!"

I read an article recently about etiquette for the technological age.  Do's and do not's of texting, tweeting, Facebooking etc.  There were some good points but the one thing that stuck with me the most was the idea of being sensitive to others when you post things.  Like  don't post 3,000 sonogram pics because maybe one of your FB friends is having trouble conceiving.  Or don't wax on for a page about your fabulous spouse and children, when someone else may have lost one, or be going through a divorce or whatever.  So I think I would give similar advice to all those matrimonial questioners out there.  Before you ask that question maybe take a look at our ring finger.  Chances are if it's empty, we aren't married!  Maybe start with where we're living, our job etc.  If we are married that will come up in the subsequent conversation.  No, the world at large is not responsible for handling my feelings with kid gloves, but wouldn't it be nice if we were all a little more socially sensitive?  Something to think about.

Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!

In honor of Dr. Seuss' Birthday today my class will be dining on green eggs (sugar cookies decorated to look like them at least) and red fish in a blue jello ocean, reading "Oh the Places You'll Go" and other classics and watching "The Cat in the Hat".  And as Dr. Seuss obviously had quite a way with words I thought I would share some of his best quotes today.  Here are a few of my favorites!  (My favorite Seuss character?  Horton!  I love that loyal pachyderm :)

"Be who you are and say what you mean.  Because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It's not."

"You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."

"A person's a person; no matter how small!"

"Today you are you, that is truer than true.  There is no one alive who is youer than you."

Trending Now

In an effort to bring some levity to a blog that I feel has maybe taken a maudlin/whiny tone I thought I would share some of my current favorite things.

1. raindrops on roses
2. whiskers on kittens

Sorry-couldn't resist.  :) And while I do and always will love The Sound of Music, that's old news.  These days I am totally in love with....

1. The Big Bang Theory-yeah, I know I am a little behind the times with this one-but this show is freaking hilarious.  I, for one, am glad there is a show that is embracing nerd-dom.  And Sheldon?  Priceless.

2. Almond Milk-cannot get enough of it.  And this is from a girl that likes regular milk only over cereal or to chase a hot from the oven chocolate chip cookie.  Otherwise? No thanks. Almond milk, however, is magical.  I prefer the regular variety for cereal.  And as a wonderful added bonus it has about 1/2 the calories and even less fat than regular milk, even skim.  The dark chocolate is delicious and this week I branched out and tried the vanilla-fabulous!!!  And for those who may be keeping Weight Watcher points like myself the regular and vanilla have 2 and 3 points a cup respectively.

3. Envelope Budgeting-yeah, I am really late to this party.  This is not a new concept.  I mean even before Dave Ramsey "invented" this system our grandparents were operating on a cash only basis.  And since I had gotten far too debit dependent and was not saving...well, anything...I decided to give it a try.  I started this mid-January and so far it's been going really well.  It's allowed me to save a couple hundred dollars a check. So far that has been used to pay off some credit card charges from the marvelous holiday season and now can start going back into my savings account.  Yay for financial responsibility!  Isn't being a grown up swell?

4. Clarisonic Mia-Holy exfoliation Batman!! This product was worth every "oh my goodness, I should not be spending this much on a face cleaner thingy" penny.  They're not cheap but people they are WORTH it.  There may not be a discernible visible different in my skin but boy, oh boy, you can feel it.  Smoother, tighter...sigh.  I love a well exfoliated face.

5. God is....Everything bracelets-This is a company started by a mother/daughter/daughter team in Tennessee.  These are great embellished leather cuff bracelets that all have various verses and symbols illustrating what God is to you.  I personally own God is my courage (with a lion symbol), God is sweet (cupcake), God is my song (music note), God is my strength (horseshoe).  And I have been wearing them pretty much every day.  Corresponding verses are printed on the back.  Check them out on Facebook to get yours!  They come in tons of designs and colors and they also carry shirts, charm bracelets and scarfs. 

So these are just a few of the things I am crazy about at present-what's "trending" with you?  Leave me a comment and let me know!

Blind Dates: The Hype, The Hope, The Horror

Blind dates.  The simultaneous friend and foe of every single girl out there.  Well meaning friends and family always seem to have a guy they think would be "just right" for you.  All my experiences with said men have lead me to believe 1 of 2 things: either my family and friends don't really know me at all, or, they really don't know these men they think would be "just right".  There are no other logical explanation for why they would continue to orchestrate dates that, to date, have no hope of producing a lasting relationship.

And yet I, and I am sure you, continue to go on these dates.  Why? Why do we put ourselves through the agony that can be a blind date?  Allow me to explain using The Three H's Model of the Blind Dating Cycle.  I think it will help to clear up a process that can only be described as insanity (Einstein's definition states that insanity is continuing to repeat the same action hoping to get a different result-is that not the blind dating scene in a nutshell??)  And so I give you-The Three H's Model of Blind Dating.  We begin with H number 1:

The Hype
During this stage of the cycle your friend, cousin, aunt, co-worker etc. introduces you to the idea of a blind date with the "perfect guy for you".  His virtues and pleasing attributes are listed like the record of a prime race horse.  Job?  Yes, a wonderful one.  Drug habit?  Oh, no, he's the nicest guy!  Hard working, ambitious, sweet, funny, intelligent, attractive.  You start to think, wow.  This could be it.  The one I've been waiting for.  This is the story I'll be telling our grandchildren in 60 years.  My friends, you have just been fed-THE HYPE.  We are now ready for stage 2.

The Hope
You've been fed the hype.  You've taken a heaping spoonful and you're beginning to think things may actually work this time.  The tentative pre-date texts, calls or emails have been witty, sweet, ethusiastivc.  You've covered some basic getting to know you stuff and somewhere deep down the hope has started to bloom. This blind date will be unlike all the others.  This guy will get you.  You'll have instant chemistry.  There will be no awkward pauses in the conversation, no surreptitiously checking your watch praying that it is almost time to go home, change into your pj's and watch re-runs of Grey's.  He won't wait three days to call again, he will barely be able to wait three hours you've had such a magical time.  He'll find you charming, gorgeous and wonder where you've been all his life.  You'll be thrilled you finally found "the one".  In your euphorically hopeful state, you pick out your favorite, most flattering outfit.  You discuss hairstyles, jewelry and shoe options with your friends.  You spend the day of the date in a marathon session of grooming and mentally prepping yourself to be confident, funny, smart, and somehow "yourself".  This one is going to work.  This is the one you've been waiting for, this is-THE HOPE.  And after the hope comes...

The Horror
Yep.  You were freaking wrong.  This guy is not the one.  He isn't even the three millionth.  His jeans are tapered.  He asks you to meet him at Red Robin and then goes to Applebee's and says he's sorry you've gotten "confused".  He orderes a quesa-dill-a burger while proudly showing off a pictures of his diapered nephew cuddling a case of Bud Light.

Or maybe he is actually nice, funny, smart et al.  But there's no zing, no zip.  He manages to be at once pushy and a pushover.  The thought of 60 years with him? Grey's and the couch are sounding better and better.  You tell yourself to give him a second chance and then spend days in a near panic at the thought of him really liking you and you having to tactfully extract yourself from a relationship you only kind of maybe wanted.  And then find yourself feeling inexplicably slighted when apparently he felt the same way you did and you never hear from him again.  Never mind you weren't sold on him.  Shouldn't he have liked you anyway?

Or horror of horrors you genuinely like him for once and the feeling is not reciprocated.  Ouch.  That stings. 

And in once of the scenarios above or a variation thereof we find-THE HORROR.

And so the question remains-why, oh, why do we continue to put ourselves through this vicious cycle.  Why do we subject ourselves to the emotional roller coaster when the result is inevitably the same EVERY SINGLE FREAKING TIME.

It's the 2nd H folks.  It's the hope that keeps us coming back for more hype, more horror.  Because one time, just one time when someone blessedly gets it right will make all the awkwardness worth it.  It will make all horrible, agonizing, never ending dates worth it.

At least that's what I tell myself.  That's why they call it hope isn't it?  I don't care for the term hopeless romantic.  I prefer to think of myself as a hopeful one.  So I'll try to focus on stage 2-on the hope.  Because let's be honest.  That is absolutely ALL that is going to propel you through the hype and the horror to get you to what you've been waiting for. 

So, you know this guy huh?  Tell me more.

Quotable Quotes

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. (Joshua 1:9 KJV)

Observations from the Gym

In no particular order:

1. Men at the gym should be required to wear shorts of a certain length-at minimum-to the knees.  Anything else is just...gross. 
            Addendum: This also should include ladies.  Their shorts need not be knee length but I don't really enjoy seeing the lower curve of your buttocks while I'm working out, no matter how skinny or fit you are.  Cover it up ladies.  Cover it up.

2. Men in the weight room will look at a group of girls working out who have the audacity to talk/laugh/enjoy themselves with a certain degree of condescension and disdain.  I paid to be here too boys.  Get over it. Just because I am not grunting and puffing like a locomotive doesn't mean things aren't getting toned.

3. If you look at the whole crowd in the cardio room for long enough, much like a Magic Eye picture, their bodies will begin to move in a common rhythm...magical.  Sweaty-but magical.

4. It should, in my opinion, be illegal to work out in any of the following: velour suits (my God the sweat!), jeans (on the treadmill, for shame), shoes with no socks (need I say more?) and any variety of slip on canvas shoes (i.e. Toms etc.). 

5.  Singing along with your iPod should, in my opinion, be perfectly acceptable and in fact encouraged.  I mean everyone else is blasting their's, so what's the harm?  But let one line of Beyonce slip through your lips (or heaven forbid a small shimmy to go with it) and that one serious, puffing weight lifter who is too serious to need the distraction of music will give you the stink eye.  Lighten up dude.  You already look like Schwarzenegger circa 1980.  Go home and eat some cake.

Quotable Quotes

As seen on a shirt at the gym:

You can pay for school,
But you can't buy class.

Amen.

Facebook is Not a Laundromat

So please, for the love of all that is good and pure, don't air your dirty laundry on there.

Now before everyone gets all defensive I fully realize that Facebook and it's uses are a personal matter.  You can use it for whatever form or function that you like. Me?  Entertainment and keeping up with friends (and enemies-bwa-ha-ha!!!)  Others use it for business, for sharing their faith or their politics.  Fine-to each their own. It's a free country and a free social medium.

But where I draw the line is those people who feel the need to utter their every thought, bodily function, marital spat and activity throughtout the day.  TMI people!! Way too much.  And I could pretty much go the rest of my life without knowing these little status jewels. To quote Thomas Haden Chruch from the movie Easy A:

 "I don't know what your generation's fascination is with documenting your every thought... but I can assure you, they're not all diamonds. "Roman is having an OK day, and bought a Coke Zero at the gas station. Raise the roof." Who gives a rat's ass?"

Too true.  I "Like" this more than I can say.

Teaching

Pretty accurate :)

Just a Small Town Girl, Living in a Tech-y World....

I think Drew Barrymore's character Mary said it best in "He's Just Not That Into You":

"I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies. It's exhausting."

Word.  To your mother.

It is exhausting-freaking exhausting.  Don't we all just long for the day when a guy just picked up the phone and CALLED us?  Or didn't.

Either way it was straightforward.  Simple.  To the point.  No seeing if he was "online".  Agonizing over why for the love of all that is holy he won't "chat" with you if he is.  No Face-stalking-attempting to decipher based on his "interests" and 5.2 million photos if you would be compatible or not. No struggling in vain to interpret a text that could quite possibly have a double meaning.  Or no meaning at all  Or that could just mean he's just a jackass. 

Sigh.  I need a nap just writing about it.

Don't get me wrong.  I love technology.  I am the proud owner of many forms of it. But I agree with Mary-it is exhausting! Checking in and trying to connect on all these different levels.  I would much prefer a guy just be a man about it and call me.  Plus that gives the added bonus of trying to decipher by his voice if you're compatible.  :)

Because let's face it ladies (and here is a heads up for any male readers).  Even if you stripped us down to the most basic forms of communication we are still going to agonize and analyze over every measly bit of information we have.  It's just the way we roll.  Or the way this girl does at least.  Pretty sure I'm not alone.

My word of advice?  If you're a dude-keep it simple. If you like us, call us-ON THE PHONE and ask us out. If it goes well call again.  Try not to wait too long-we think you follow that 3 day rule even if you really don't.  If you don't like us, don't call.  But for pete's sake don't say you're going to call if you're not.  We hate that.  Really.  A lot.

And ladies, try not to over analyze.  Let things go however they are meant to go.  That's what going to happen anyway no matter how much you think about it and talk about it with your friends.  I know it's hard to resist.  I myself am going to be hard-pressed to take my own advice as I am the world's worst over-analyzer.  But try. I'm going to :)

***Disclaimer-I am barely old enough to have experienced the days when calling on the phone was the only option-and yet-I can totally and completely see the merit and advantages to it!  That is all.