Thursday, April 12, 2012

A Call to Arms....Muscular Arms Preferably

I've been floundering a bit lately when it comes to thinking up interesting blog topics.  I've tossed around this and that but everything has seemed kind of stale (heck, what is coming might seem stale to you too) and I've just had...nothing.  Things have been coasting along in my life comfortably-which is marvelous but does not make for thrilling blog reading.  Then yesterday while working out with one of the besties our conversation led me to the perfect topic.  Or at least something I think needs to be said.  Loudly.  I believe my exact comment went something like this....


I said it loudly.  In fact I'm pretty sure people walking near us turned to stare.

But seriously? Why can't they!  You may wonder what I mean by this and perhaps it would be best explained if you knew that the conversation leading up to this comment had a lot to do with men being one or more (usually more) of the following:
1. wimps (harsh but true)
2. non-committal / indecisive
3. aimless and drifting through life trying to "find themselves"
4. on the couch playing the latest xBox game (is xBox still cool?  I have no idea)
-and mostly-
5. lazy and unwilling to pursue a woman-properly

I realize #5 might seem a bit archaic and call me old fashioned if you want-I'm sure I've been called worse-but I want to be freaking pursued dang it!  And as I told my friend yesterday, no, I don't mean laying on a chaise eating grapes, fanning myself and listening to suitors sing or compose poems in my honor.  I'm not Cleopatra -my aspirations are far more simple.  I would be perfectly content with a MAN who calls when he says he will (and yes, I mean actually CALLS, not texts, not emails, not Facebooks), who actually wants to be with me, who is take charge and respectful and confident and...manly.   Which I know is a vague descriptor but for the life of me I don't know how else to describe it.  A man who takes care of his family, who has some goals, some vision of how he wants his life to go.  Who is kind and loving yet willing to defend you and protect you. And, in my experience at least, that kind of man is something that is really lacking in our society today.  At least in guys in my age range.  And I blame that on "Guyland"-a magical place where men of my generation seem to have set up residence permanently.  It seems to be a place where the mindset, expectations, goals and activities are the same as they are for your average 13-17 year old male.

Michael Kimmel wrote the book on "Guyland"-literally.  And his basic premise is that while men want to be men, the responsibilities and baggage that comes with that baffles them (and, in my opinion, intimidates and scares the crap out of them).  Therefore, some seem to set up house in Guyland-where they can be eternally 13 and where all the less appealing facets of being a man are perfectly acceptable-complete with video games, locker room jokes, male camaraderie via sports teams, exaggerated tales of their sexual prowess and none of that scary commitment or responsibility stuff.

Think about it.  Who doesn't know a man between the ages of 20-35 who is a proud property owner in Guyland?  I know SEVERAL. They seem to be perpetual teenagers and that annoys me to no end.  I have said, more than once, that I'm not looking for a child to raise, another person to take care of.  I want a man who will share in the responsibilities of life with me, who-could it be possible?-might actually take care of me in some respects.  And that seems hard to find.  People have always said "a good man is hard to find".  The trouble is that now the emphasis on that statement is not so much in the good, as in the "man". 

Another bestie and I have determined that part of the reason for our rather low opinions of these Guyland residents is due to the fact we were raised by slightly older fathers-what she likes to call the "John Wayne" era.  They played cowboys and Indians, rode horses, shot marbles and dreamed of being a cowboy or a soldier.  Not a ninja or video game designer. It was a time when men were men and women were women.  Corny, but frankly, true. Things were simple then, lines more cut and dried. So this is the model of a man we have grown up with, the standard we hold other men accountable to.  And all those guys hanging out in Guyland?  They fall ridiculously short. 

No, not all the men I know live in Guyland.  But numbers are small in those that have moved to Man-land.  They're there-but they're few. 

So my challenge, my "call to arms" to all you 20 and 30-something guys?  Man up!!!!  It's what we girls are looking for.  Get some purpose, some direction in life.  Treat a woman with respect.  Make her feel valued and protected a woman!  The best way to accomplish that?  Act like a man.

"All a girl wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same."
-Marilyn Monroe\

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