I have a problem.
I sometimes spend too much of my time focusing on what my life will be like "one day". When this happens, or that happens, I meet "the" guy, have kids, buy my dream house. And the problem with this is that sometimes I get so wrapped up in the vision and path to my future life that I tend to miss the pretty amazing life that I am experiencing right now. I think John Lennon said it best "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."
It's easy to do. I don't think there is a person out there who doesn't feel in some way like their life will really start when they reach the next big milestone they have set for themselves. It could be a personal goal, a career goal-whatever. But all this dreaming, this wishing, this waiting for life to get started has the concerning side effect of encouraging you not to live life, your present life, to its absolute fullest. And that's not ok.
I said as much to my friend the other day. That sometimes, when I'm complaining or worrying about things I don't have I feel ridiculously guilty because instead, I should be giving thanks and appreciation to all that I DO have...and that's a lot. Way more than a lot of people.
One of my friends said last night that she feels like 2012 is a building year for us. It was a very, very odd sports analogy coming from her-if you knew her you would understand-but it probably comes from the fact that she spends her days surrounded by high school boys and lunches with an array of high school athletic coaches. But I digress.
I have decided that she might be on to something. Thus far this year I have dedicated myself to becoming more healthy. I have lost 25 lbs to date and am exercising more than I have since I sweated through suicide sprints in high school. I have been trying (sometimes successfully, sometimes not so much) to focus on becoming a better person. To pray more, curse less, work on my patience (definitely NOT my best virtue). I've recently added the attempt to let go of my worries and to let God handle it. So today I am going to add to my list of attempted self improvements and try more whole-heartedly to live life-this life I'm living right now-to the fullest. To be thankful for all my blessings. Hey if I'm working on myself I might as well go all the way.
It's a building year-this 2012-I'm starting from the ground up and hammering away at myself a little bit more every day. I can't wait to see the finished product.
That whole looking ahead thing...it's part of being human.
ReplyDeleteI find myself looking back too, wondering...how did we get here?
I think about that too Tiff. It seems like the years have flown by and sometimes like they have drug me along with then against my will :) I think that's natural too.
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